Stuff

I'm feeling a bit under the weather, so I might be getting loopy and finding things more interesting and share-worthy than they really are. That having been said, here we go.

* Yesterday I went home and had a nutritious lunch of spinach salad and lightly grilled chicken out to lunch and had shrimp tacos at this great Mexican grill. They serve chips with jalapeno ranch dressing that is to die for. I bellied up to my food while reading a book, and I was halfway through scarfing down a basket of chips and dip when I looked down and saw a dragonfly had just crash landed in the dip. I was startled, and then proceeded to watch him struggling to get out. The humane thing to do would be to rescue him and send him on his way. Instead, I looked at him in disgust, becoming grossed out and pissed that he'd ruined my lunch, and left in a huff. The end.


** I just remembered that a while ago we saw a pigeon get hit by a truck in the Walmart parking lot, but it didn't die right away. I hurried the girls away from it because I didn't want them traumatized, but a lady had just pulled in to a spot near us and asked if it was dead. When I told her no, she proceeded to back out and told me she would go finish it off. We continued inside, and then ran into her on our way out. She reassured us that it was dead, and we notified the staff that they had a dead pigeon in the parking lot. Isn't that a lovely story? I can't think why I waited so long to tell you.

This then reminded me of when The Man was commuting to Santa Barbara from our home town, and he saw a squirrel or something get hit but not die, and he swerved to finish him off. I was horrified at the time, but I was young and stupid. Now I think he and that lady in the parking lot are courageous. Also that The Man is no longer my medical power of attorney.


*** There is something totally awesome about this story. "World's Tallest Man Unveils World's Biggest Cookie" And why did I find it infinitely more amusing to know he did it in an IKEA in Oslo?


**** I'm leaving tomorrow for two days to do a church conference thing in Houston, and I was outlining to The Man his Parental Responsibilities while I'm gone.

The Man: So when are you leaving?
Me: Tomorrow at 11am
The Man: So when do I get the kids?
Me: Saturday morning
The Man: ???
Me: They're having a sleepover so you can go to your Wrap Party for your game
The Man: Oh, that's RIGHT. So basically I'm going to go to work tomorrow, and I won't see my children until Saturday morning?
Me: Yep
The Man: I love you


**** I went to the school to eat lunch with the girls today, and while I waited for their class to come in, I was watching a table of 3rd graders. There was some jockeying for space, and they kept saying leave a space for Addie, leave a space for Addie! I was curious, and then a teacher came walking up with Addie, who is a Down Syndrome kid. The classmates were vying for her to be able to sit next to them, boys and girls alike. She sat down with them and they all started chatting away together, not realizing how profoundly awesome that was.

I am going to hold onto that lunch memory every time I start lamenting the fact that kids these days are so mean and uncaring and insensitive. They're not. When given the chance to be decent and caring and loyal, they can break your heart with the size of theirs.


***** Catch you all on the flip side, if I don't succumb to what is surely the R2D2 virus. May the force be with you. Always.

The One Where Loodle Cooks

Tonight, I worked twice as hard as usual took the night off and let Loodle make dinner. They were all up in arms last week because I always cook deadly poison with a side of grilled liver and onions, so I said, fine, you pick the menu and make it.

I knew full well that this would actually be MORE work for me, but the point was for them to realize that a lot of planning and thought and work goes into making a dinner. *snicker snort guffaw* Or at least realize that they had no interest in doing this on a weekly basis and leave me to my devices.

Loodle, my almost 7-year-old, was up first. She went through our two kids' cookbooks and picked.... sandwiches. And brownies. Oooookay, but wait! It's a circular sandwich! Bread baked into a circle is exciting!! After adding baked potato chips and carrots to the menu, away we went. Here are some pics from her prep and the final product, of which she was extremely proud.


Making round bread is easy. Take two Pilsbury french bread loaves and form a circle and pinch the ends together. Viola!

This was a cold cut Super Sub.

There were many steps in its preparation, but I'm pretty sure you know how to assemble turkey, ham, bologna, provolone, American cheese, spinach and olives without visual aids.

How it ended up with a face is... actually not a mystery, because all food items Loodle is involved with inevitably end up with a face of some sort.

Anything resembling outlandish toppings (i.e. mustard, mayo, pickles, peppers and tomatoes were left on the side to be added as necessary, which the girls used exactly zero times)

Those are brownie "buttons", whatever that means. (surely are not meant for me to put my feet upon whilst watching The Big Bang Theory) They were made from scratch, thank you very much, and there are mini m&m's mixed right into the batter. You want some right now, don't you?

Bits and Pieces

Just A Note to the Lady In Front of Me at the Store Who Took EIGHTEEN Minutes to Check Out:

OMG FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY WOULD YOU SHUT UP AND LET THE CHECKER SCAN YOUR FREAKING FOOD WITHOUT HAVING TO HEAR ABOUT HOW THE VITAMINS IN THE SMALLER BOTTLE ARE HIGHER "POTENCY" AND HOW THE MINCED GARLIC IS BLAH BLAH BLAH AND THOSE ROLLS SHOWED ON THE SHELF AS $.50 EACH BUT THAT'S RIDICULOUS AND DID YOU GET THE TWO COUPONS FOR ROLAIDS CAN YOU PLEASE GO THROUGH ALL THE COUPONS AGAIN ONE BY ONE AND CHECK AND LOOK HE'S DONE SCANNING NOW AND HAS GIVEN YOU A TOTAL AND NOW YOU DIG THROUGH YOUR PURSE AND BRING OUT YOUR CHECKBOOK AND PROCEED TO FILL IT OUT SLOWER THAN THE POLAR ICECAPS ARE MELTING SO HELP ME GOD IF I SEE YOU IN THE PARKING LOT I WILL RUN YOU OVER AND NOT EVEN FEEL BAD ABOUT IT NO MATTER WHAT I'M READING IN MY BIBLE STUDY CLASS RIGHT NOW

/capslock

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The lady across the street was sweeping her garage walls today. The WALLS. Then she appeared to be scrubbing the garage floor. I don't NEED this kind of pressure, lady.

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The girls listen to classical music while falling asleep. Tonight, Loodle was out here complaining about her sister not letting her fall asleep. I gave her half-assed instructions and sent her back to her room. The Man, looking to actually PARENT in this situation, followed quietly after her down the hall and overheard:

Loodle: Did you skip ahead to this song?
Boodle: Yes.
Loodle: (pause) Why do you hate me?

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Loodle, the almost 7 year old, is currently reading the bible. For fun. I'm barely keeping up with her in my bible study class entitled "The Big Picture", wherein we read through the bible over the course of a couple dozen weeks.

So we're in the van a couple days ago, and Loodle says, "Oh, right, I was at the part where Moses goes back to Egypt." Thank goodness I know what's happening, since I've just gone through Exodus. I idly inquire what she's reading about in the book. "Boils. It was the 6th plague." Um, oooookay, gonna have to take your word on that one. I wait for a bit, and then ask again what she's reading. "I'm reading about the Angel of Death." Awesome. Carry on.

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In a related note, a few weeks ago I volunteered in Kids' Praise during the second half of church, and Loodle was there watching a Veggie Tales movie about the whole Moses/Pharaoh/plague situation. If you're not familiar, Pharaoh has his heart hardened even after all these plagues are brought upon his people, but the last straw is when God orders all the firstborn sons of Egypt be killed, even the Pharaoh's.

Obviously, in a Veggie Tales movie, this is a delicate subject, so they portrayed this part by showing all the babies in baskets floating gently down the river into the sunset.

Loodle turns to me and says matter-of-fact: "Does that mean they killed them?"

Um, yeah, it does, and now I'm rethinking the whole church thing altogether, because you are just too smart for sugar-coating. Alternately, is it blasphemous to rip out the entire Old Testament from her bible?

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Our carpool buddy, a 6 year old girl, was riding in our van today after school on our way to an afternoon outing. She spoke up with the following: "I could use a drink right now." (me, giggling internally because I'm juvenile and also think maybe I'll need a drink after an afternoon with three giggly girls) Then she mutters: "Yeah, I could use a cold one." STOP IT, you're killing me.

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Later, another friend, a 5 year old boy this time, met us at the local library, and we were walking down to see a movie, when the carpool girl accidentally brushed him with her bookbag.

5yob: Hey, watch it! You're gonna hurt my wiener!
6yog: (oblivious)
5yob: (I'm guessing he realizes you're not supposed to say wiener) Oh, I mean you almost hit my tenders.
6yog: Are you talking about chicken nuggets?
5yob: Grinning, no I mean my tenders. You know.
6yog: Yeah, tenders are chicken nuggets.
5yob: No, I mean...
(This is where I finally have to intervene before I DIE of a heart attack from withheld chortling and guffawing)
Me: No, he's talking about his boy parts.
6yog: Oh. Sorry.

Wordless Wednesday: Judging By Mold Progression, I Think Halloween Is Over

Say Cheeeeeeeese!

The beginning of the school year brings about an argument in our household that I'm sure not many folks have.

Picture Day.

We've been through, oh what is it, six? Yeah, six picture days now, and I can honestly say I've liked exactly one of the pictures that we got back. From EITHER child.

In the beginning, Boodle was at an age where she was extraordinarily uncomfortable getting in front of anybody, where their entire being would be focused on just her. She couldn't take the pressure, so the first two years' pics were tearstained, manic looking photos. Ah, fond memories to last a lifetime.

Then, she finally got comfortable enough not to cry, so we moved into the CHEEEEEZE! phase. There were two years' worth of Camembert shots that the dentist could use to diagnose a cavity.

Now, Boodle has moved on to the Uncertain Smile years. I blame myself, because after trying to better my photography skills using my guinea pigs kids, I've spoken to them about a natural smile, and I'm sure I've done it in a consistent, loving, helpful way. *snort*

So. School starts. Actually, let me back up. The devil himself invades school administrators and they institute SPRING portrait day last April, and after foolishly purchasing the package last fall of less than memorable pictures, I refused (REFUSED!) to buy any pics for Spring.

Back to this school year, and a big brouhaha erupts over whether I'm going to shell out $50 EACH for their photos. Me: NO. Them: Waaaaaaah. End scene. I've finally decided that I'm sick of the traditional, you-must-have-pictorial-evidence-that-your-child-went-to-school-this-year portraits.

So last week, on picture day, I took them after school to a beloved park with a stream and sand and turtles, and told them that they could play to their hearts' desires after they let me take their pics on the pretty path. I didn't mention school photos, just told them to have fun.









So, you tell me. Do you think the portrait company would be able to get anything close to these faces or these full of depth expressions? And should I shell out $100+ just for tradition's sake? And WHEN did I turn into my bah humbug husband???

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The Man Is Famous!

Okay, maybe not personally famous, but still. We were watching The Big Bang Theory tonight (which, if you're not watching, dude, it's awesome), and a commercial came on for the game his company worked on. A commercial for his game! On TV!! In the middle of a totally awesome show that's on a REGULAR channel, not one of those weird cable access channels.

The Man totally rocks and I'm totally bragging on him.


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Happy Halloween!

This is Sharpay from High School Musical, in case that's not obvious. Which, dude, it's so not. We lost the hair scrunchie that goes with it, and it was cold so Loodle added a sweater for comfort.



Meet the Victorian Queen, not to be confused with Queen Victoria. This distinction was made clear to everyone by Boodle.
I can't begin to describe my joy to see that Loodle is WORKING this dress. I'll be looking back at this outfit fondly, I'm sure, when I'm arguing over the trampy clothes she's trying to pick out at Hot Topic in a few years.



Garth Brooks. 'Nuff said.